Love this, Ginny! Such self m-discovery and honesty were probably always there…but finding Bob allowed you to become your true self. I get how we are raised stays with us; but we pivot and grow along the way. Thank you for sharing your story…much love to you both! 🫶❤️🥰
our parents must have gone to the same "how to be a parent" classes! Lol I never considered that "qualifying" equalled performance art. Thanks once again for reframing..of course, many decades after being required to Earn Love, rather than Be Loved, I am still trying to understand why..I wasn't enough, and all the other supposed ways I was not simply loved..My mother had zero experience giving or receiving unconditional love, and though it was often said I was "the apple of my father's eye" ( cause for a jealous, competitive reaction from mom)..my father was also grooming me..What a mixed bag of messages!
In spite of all that collective Bs..I am continually grateful for having survived, and know that I didn't implode
my guardian angels kept me safe..here I am, older, wiser mostly happy and healthy..
Your childhood sounds like mine, but it’s taken me much longer to figure it out. I still find myself trying to live up to other people’s expectations. It’s exhausting.
As someone who grew up with insecurity for similar reasons to what you write about here your writing resonated deeply with me. I’ve done immense work over my lifetime to heal this. At 62 and my Dad passing two weeks ago (mother died when I was 15) I am in a transition where I am defining what I want and figuring it out. Great piece.
I’m sorry about your dad. Losing our last parent is a huge, redefining moment, made even larger, perhaps, when we lost our first parent at a young age. Sending you hugs. Ginni
It is a different loss when they were your primary parent all your life and especially when the remaining parent wasn’t a good parent. I did a better job caring for him in his elder years than he ever did caring for me and the feelings are complex. He stated many times he would have never had children
Complex is an interesting word and probably does not come close to describing the multitude of thoughts and feelings you are experiencing. Thank you for sharing this because I know it will speak to how many others feel, and maybe give them their voice to share their honest experience.
Complex is the kindest word I could think of. I don’t want to vilify him but I will be writing honestly about the feelings that come from the death of a parent there was a trauma history with.
Deep, gentle and piercing truth in a story that is real and realistic. Thank you.
Love this, Ginny! Such self m-discovery and honesty were probably always there…but finding Bob allowed you to become your true self. I get how we are raised stays with us; but we pivot and grow along the way. Thank you for sharing your story…much love to you both! 🫶❤️🥰
Actually, finding my true self allowed Bob to come into my life.
Love it…even better! I had to get past grief and guilt from losing my husband to now being with his best friend!… also a widower.
We can have both joy and sorrow. Much love and Warm summer wishes to you both! 🥰🫶
Soo sorry you struggled but you made it and were blessed with Bob!!!
Blessings
Leslie
Ginni!
our parents must have gone to the same "how to be a parent" classes! Lol I never considered that "qualifying" equalled performance art. Thanks once again for reframing..of course, many decades after being required to Earn Love, rather than Be Loved, I am still trying to understand why..I wasn't enough, and all the other supposed ways I was not simply loved..My mother had zero experience giving or receiving unconditional love, and though it was often said I was "the apple of my father's eye" ( cause for a jealous, competitive reaction from mom)..my father was also grooming me..What a mixed bag of messages!
In spite of all that collective Bs..I am continually grateful for having survived, and know that I didn't implode
my guardian angels kept me safe..here I am, older, wiser mostly happy and healthy..
Please keep writing your inspiration pieces..
Your childhood sounds like mine, but it’s taken me much longer to figure it out. I still find myself trying to live up to other people’s expectations. It’s exhausting.
As someone who grew up with insecurity for similar reasons to what you write about here your writing resonated deeply with me. I’ve done immense work over my lifetime to heal this. At 62 and my Dad passing two weeks ago (mother died when I was 15) I am in a transition where I am defining what I want and figuring it out. Great piece.
I’m sorry about your dad. Losing our last parent is a huge, redefining moment, made even larger, perhaps, when we lost our first parent at a young age. Sending you hugs. Ginni
It is a different loss when they were your primary parent all your life and especially when the remaining parent wasn’t a good parent. I did a better job caring for him in his elder years than he ever did caring for me and the feelings are complex. He stated many times he would have never had children
Complex is an interesting word and probably does not come close to describing the multitude of thoughts and feelings you are experiencing. Thank you for sharing this because I know it will speak to how many others feel, and maybe give them their voice to share their honest experience.
Complex is the kindest word I could think of. I don’t want to vilify him but I will be writing honestly about the feelings that come from the death of a parent there was a trauma history with.