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Dana Walters's avatar

How frightening. So glad you came away with a new lease on life and an understanding of the beauty of reality - warts and all!

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christopher cressey's avatar

Wow!

what an unexpected ride, scary and prescient..the self watching itself, the existential question "what is reality?" I have had no equal or even close experience and appreciate your sharing.

Only once do I remember leaving my body, hovering above and observing, when I was almost 15 and supposedly medicated before an appendectomy! I was in the operating room watching the Dr. look over my chart and I was reading it upside down, it said something about my ovaries. I remember thinking "I have those!". Then I guess the stronger meds kicked in and it was over when I awoke..

It Really was Over! I had been given sodium pentathol and my mother used the opportunity to question me as I regained consciousness. She discovered that I had become sexually active with my boyfriend during the previous 6 months. He was 4 years older, just over 18, and had recently enlisted in the service. The breach into my privacy unbeknownst to me at the time meant that when bootcamp was over and my boyfriend arrived unannounced, proudly wearing his uniform and knocked at the door, my mother informed him that he could never "see" me again and that she would file statutory rape charges against him if he did!

I saw him arrive, hopeful, then leave, dejected as I watched through a window. I played dumb and asked my mother who had knocked on the door…and she informed me of her decision! She tried to dismiss my tears by saying glibly, "there are other fish in the sea". I was not uplifted by her pronouncement.

I will never know if it might have been better to have a heart to heart discussion about her concern for my safety, for the possibility of unplanned pregnancy and so many other parental worries. She acted out of fear and enlisted my silence on the matter so that my father would not know and be heartbroken over my loss of virginity!

My experience only deepened my lifelong distrust issues.

Yours opened a door to a shift in conscious awareness, to alternate ways of seeing. Perhaps it informed your future professional choices.

I am grateful for you sharing.

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