Watch Our Plane Fall Apart

Photo by Leio McLaren on Unsplash

“Come, let’s watch our plane fall apart,” Marcia said, waving me over to join her at the expansive glass window overlooking the runway at LAX. Planes behind ours continued to take off and land. We were two 18-year-old kids on our first trip to Europe. Our parents, who came to see us off that morning, left long before, when it was clear we wouldn’t be departing anytime soon.

We’d just returned from the hotel where they’d been shuttling us back and forth since 9:00 a.m. Before we’d get on the bus for each return to the airport, we were told they’d finally fixed our plane and were ready to go.

Once again, it wasn’t true.

I’m sure my mouth dropped when I looked at the wheel flat on the ground next to the plane instead of attached to the landing gear.

The past few years, I often hear Marcia’s words, “Let’s watch our plane fall apart,” as I witness my husband and friends assaulted by health issues, and my own body sometimes leading the pack of who has the most doctor appointments.

“Come, let’s watch our bodies fall apart.” Unlike the plane that was finally repaired and flew us to Europe for our first overseas adventure, our bodies can only be patched and wait for the next time a tire comes off.

I want you to know that this is weird. You may look at me and think, “Oh, she’s old.” Maybe you won’t. But when I tell you my age, you may ask, “Well, what did you expect?” and add, “This is just the way things are.” It’s not helpful when doctors say, “This is what happens when we get older.” They always say “we,” although most of them are still in their thirties.

If you are young, or if you haven’t been confronted with ongoing health issues, what you might not realize is that inside we all perceive ourselves as the children we once were. Of course we do because we’ve carried that child with us throughout our lives. I’m still me and while philosophically I understand the transitions of life, that doesn’t mean I like it or want it or any of it is okay.

I’m me and I’d like to be me for a long time.

Being old, older, or elderly doesn’t make illness or physical pain any less unpleasant.

My mother, at almost 91, stood in my kitchen, unable to breathe until I administered her medicine. Once she could inhale and exhale again, she said in a quiet voice, “I can’t believe it’s gone so fast.”

That was 19 years ago, and she was right—it goes fast.

Even if you’re not yet old, I’m sure you’ve had moments in your life when you felt the tires were falling off physically, spiritually, or emotionally. We need to pay attention to those moments because the lessons learned earlier in life are what we’ll later use to cope and even soar. 

It remains to be seen how long we can repair and reconnect the metaphorical tire and if our bodies will continue taking off for new adventures. But I assure you, I will soar.

Turn your sound on and enjoy Steve Miller Band Fly Like An Eagle