I should have known better. The only thing that leads to disappointment is expectations.
Today, my expectations met reality. And it was not pretty.
The morning started out great. I had a decent night’s sleep, a rarity in my life. I woke up grateful that it was 5:50 and not 3:00. I was excited about the upcoming pickleball match, sure that feeling rested meant I’d play well. My husband and I had joined a ladder tournament and today was our fourth day. I felt ready.
My husband hadn’t slept well and held little hope for his game.
Then we got on the court. He went to his matches, and I went to mine
And that’s when reality imposed herself on my former expectations. Whizz, a ball went by on my right. A swing and a miss. I told humiliation not to bother and persevered. Then it happened again. And a third time!
Not defeated yet, but I felt somewhat deflated.
I persevered. My partner had only played four months, so if I missed a ball, she wasn’t good enough to make up for my mistake by swooping in to save the point. First game, lost. But, thankfully, we weren’t pickled (meaning no points at all).
Second game. I had a better partner, but neither of us good enough. Many of her serves were out, and I managed to gain us a few points by holding my serve to add five to our score. But overall, I played so bad that I even slammed a ball into my ear. The pain of the hit didn’t compare to the sting of I can’t believe I did that! I won’t share about the rest of my playing—living it once was enough. Second game, lost.
Third game I played with the best player among us. Game won.
The win wasn’t enough. Something inside me got lost this morning. I’ve loved playing pickleball, and I did not love playing this morning. I lost the joy of playing a game I’d loved.
I had expectations, and although I know expectations are the only thing that can lead to disappointments, I had allowed myself to have them. I expected to play well, and I didn’t.
My husband, on the other hand, expected not to play well, and he did great. His expectations weren’t filled, either, but in his case, the outcome was positive.
So, does this mean that if we’re going to have expectations, we should keep them low so that we won’t be disappointed?
I don’t think so. It would be sad to go through life always expecting the worst. What a lousy way to have pleasant surprises.
So, my question: How do we find the balance between expecting too much and expecting too little?
Great thanks for sharing...tooo true
Leslie
Or…we could just live in the moment and let it unfold. Although I’m not necessarily good at that…