I remember the good old days when you called for a medical appointment and a human answered. Within minutes, the call completed, and you were free to live the rest of your days. The same was true if you called a utility company or any store for service.
If you’ve never had the above experiences, I’m sorry. And, if, like me, you recall those days with a wistful fondness, know that I share your pain.
Things have changed a lot. Today it’s life on hold.
How many times has a simple phone call turned into being placed on hold many times while they connect you to yet another robotic voice or person? First, you reach the robotic voice that says your call is very important to us, then puts you on hold. Apparently, your call isn’t that important. They don’t care if you might not be alive in the distant future when you reach someone who can help.
Eventually, a human representative comes online, takes your information, and puts you on hold “for just a minute.” You watch as minutes of your life slip away from you while you have no choice but to listen to canned music a sadistic monster had chosen for poor suckers like us. Then, silence. And you know. Your call was cut off.
With a groan—or as in my case, a few well-chosen swear words—you dial again, and the process starts over. This time, when you reach an actual human and provide your information, you plead with them to take your phone number so they can call you back should you get disconnected. They swear they will. If you are lucky, they complete the reason for your call. Or, if disconnected, your phone rings and it’s the person you had just spoken to on the other end. Thus, no need to, yet again, repeat what they’d already forced you to repeat more than once.
By now, you may have guessed that I just went through the above experience, which motivated me to write. You know, misery loves company. Well, I don’t hope you’re miserable, but I prefer knowing I’m not alone and this wasn’t some bad cosmic test of endurance created only for me.
So, if you’re not bored yet, here’s my story of the past two days:
We had a service scheduled yesterday for some time between 2:30 and 6:30. Remember when service people offered you a precise time and then showed? Anyway, 6:30 came and went, so I called. Minutes of my life disappeared while I waited with the patience of a saint—yeah, sure—for someone who could help me. There’s a happy ending to the story. The last person I spoke to knew what to do, rescheduled our appointment, and then apologized by offering to discount some of our cost. Problem now solved. At least I hope so, because we can’t be certain someone will show up Friday while we sit at home waiting.
Today, I received an email which alerted me to something important that had already needed to be done for a medical appointment tomorrow. I called and the first lady I spoke to listened with compassion as I relayed the problem. She said she would put me on hold for a moment. After a minute or two of silence, my call was cut off. I called again and was put on hold. A few minutes later, a recorded menu of options played. When I realized none were what I needed, I pressed 0. This led to another robotic menu of options, but one option was where I wanted to go. While I waited, Elton John serenaded, which was far superior to the pathetic screeching saxophone instrumentals I’ve been forced to endure in the past.
Seventeen more nonrenewable minutes of my life, which I will never get back, evaporated while I waited. I paced like an expectant father. I groused while my sweet husband watched with sympathy—or maybe it was horror that he was married to this strange lunatic who’d overtaken his wife’s body.
Finally, a human voice. And she knew what she was doing. Of course, tomorrow’s appointment had to be cancelled because of their mess-up, but she did schedule me for next week.
If someone knows an anti-on-hold prayer or chant that works, please send it to me.
Just another way the universe is trying to teach me patience, hasn't worked and probably never will. Thank goodness for Sudoku and other games to numb me while I wait!
I put off. Making a lot of calls, because I do t want the aggravation of dealing with a broken communication system. Please bring back the humans.