Wow just wow. What a wonderful tribute to Brandon. I have tears running down my face. Thank you for sharing this and tell your wonderful husband thanks for writing it and sharing it with us. It certainly made a difference in my day..
This is an incredibly well written sad tale about loss. Loss is inevitable, but how we chose to recover from it is so important. I’ve lost my keys, some sports games, and recently my mind a few times. That said, none of it compares to your loss. The fact that you turned the tables around to help others with housing, and became a bright and happy father to two more boys speaks so well of you. I suspect that this is why you are one of the very dearest people on earth to me.
Thank you for your message, Bob. What a gift of perspective you are sharing with us - You carry a grief that never quite goes away, yet you remind us all of the importance of laughter, joy, kindness, compassion, love, and embracing all of life as much as we can. I have just returned from spending a week with my precious grandsons and this is a perfect reminder for me today! Thank you.
I remember that Friday, April 13 1984 so vividly. Tim & I were at our church and as soon as we arrived home there was a knock at the door. It was Bob & his wife from next door to share the awful news with us. I don’t remember what exactly we said to each others—just that we shared in their grief and loved them.
We are both so happy our dear friend has Ginni now to share life with and that we have been able to stay so close all these 50+ years.
Thank you for sharing this story again. The memory of Brandon is still strong in my heart.
Oh Bob, I haven’t met you and my connection to Ginni is decades old, not current. Still, the tremendous compassion and sensitivity in your search for meaning and reason to exit the chasm of grief made me smile. I thought, who better to partner with my friend Ginni? I am glad you found each other and continue to celebrate your mutual gifts.
On March 3rd,1988, my brother Bob's six-year-old child died from spinal cancer after a bone-marrow transplant and many efforts to sustain his young life. It is such a tragedy to lose a child. The funeral at the church was filled--and not a dry eye in the place! Little Brian was in a small open coffin wearing his pajamas and looking as though he was peacefully sleeping. My brother was devasted by this tragedy and I don't think he has ever fully recovered. I am going to copy most of this testimony and hope my will brother read it. He has pulled away from all contact with family and has become a recluse. It may help him to read of another parent's pain. I will wait until the 3rd of March to do this. (On second thought, I won't e-mail it. I'll make a copy and send it in a personal letter.)
Thank you so much for sharing the love your Bob had for his first-born son.
I also lost my first child. He was only six months. Very sudden and without warning. That was a very dark black hole for me to climb out of which took many years. I understand your void that occasionally comes from nowhere, but now I have skills to recognize and acknowledge them and appreciate the few six months we had. I like your story very much as it shows how to find beauty in life after tragedy.
This writing is a gift to those in the dark hole of grief. You are a special man and I am so glad you and Ginni found each other. I too am learning similar lessons from the loss of my parents and especially the loss of my husband to Alzheimer’s disease. I enjoy each day more knowing that time is a gift. I feel the suffering of those in pain which allows me to give comfort and support more completely. Thank you for writing and sharing your story.
Bob, thank you for sharing the story of Brandon’s gifts. His loss must have been devastating. Yet you carried on, courageously growing into the man you are now. Thank you for not letting sorrow snuff out your light. You’ve given a gift to all who know you.
Bob, I am so sorry that Brandon is not here physically. I felt the emotions as if he were right here. Your ability to draw us in and make Brandon real and alive to all of us helps in countless ways. For me it is a gentle reminder to not look at the past but to look forward. The past resides within us and we do not have to cling to the sadness.
I have not experienced loss in the same way you did, yours is a deep and unrelenting loss that no parent should ever have. You kept Brandon’s joy and heart alive in the house that so many families have used since. Bringing purpose to pain is the way forward.
Thank you for this heartfelt and beautifully written piece. Please write more. Maybe even start your own Substack. You write very well!
Just wow... such a powerful story from Bob... thank you for sharing it here. Thank you for encouraging him to write it! I love how he remembers sweet Brandon with the gifts he gave his young father... and those gifts have stuck a lifetime making Bob an even better dad. He was absolutely right about fathers expected to be strong, stoic... we sure needed this perspective. Well done, Bob... you’re an awesome writer just like Ginni! 🫶💙💜🫶
Thank you for sharing Brandon with us. I know the tears it took for you to write this poignant story. 💔
Wow just wow. What a wonderful tribute to Brandon. I have tears running down my face. Thank you for sharing this and tell your wonderful husband thanks for writing it and sharing it with us. It certainly made a difference in my day..
This is an incredibly well written sad tale about loss. Loss is inevitable, but how we chose to recover from it is so important. I’ve lost my keys, some sports games, and recently my mind a few times. That said, none of it compares to your loss. The fact that you turned the tables around to help others with housing, and became a bright and happy father to two more boys speaks so well of you. I suspect that this is why you are one of the very dearest people on earth to me.
Thank you for your message, Bob. What a gift of perspective you are sharing with us - You carry a grief that never quite goes away, yet you remind us all of the importance of laughter, joy, kindness, compassion, love, and embracing all of life as much as we can. I have just returned from spending a week with my precious grandsons and this is a perfect reminder for me today! Thank you.
I remember that Friday, April 13 1984 so vividly. Tim & I were at our church and as soon as we arrived home there was a knock at the door. It was Bob & his wife from next door to share the awful news with us. I don’t remember what exactly we said to each others—just that we shared in their grief and loved them.
We are both so happy our dear friend has Ginni now to share life with and that we have been able to stay so close all these 50+ years.
Thank you for sharing this story again. The memory of Brandon is still strong in my heart.
Oh Bob, I haven’t met you and my connection to Ginni is decades old, not current. Still, the tremendous compassion and sensitivity in your search for meaning and reason to exit the chasm of grief made me smile. I thought, who better to partner with my friend Ginni? I am glad you found each other and continue to celebrate your mutual gifts.
Thanks for sharing your memory.
Hi Bob
Thank you for sharing. Your writing about what you went thru is amazing about capturing your feelings.
Blessings
Leslie
On March 3rd,1988, my brother Bob's six-year-old child died from spinal cancer after a bone-marrow transplant and many efforts to sustain his young life. It is such a tragedy to lose a child. The funeral at the church was filled--and not a dry eye in the place! Little Brian was in a small open coffin wearing his pajamas and looking as though he was peacefully sleeping. My brother was devasted by this tragedy and I don't think he has ever fully recovered. I am going to copy most of this testimony and hope my will brother read it. He has pulled away from all contact with family and has become a recluse. It may help him to read of another parent's pain. I will wait until the 3rd of March to do this. (On second thought, I won't e-mail it. I'll make a copy and send it in a personal letter.)
Thank you so much for sharing the love your Bob had for his first-born son.
I also lost my first child. He was only six months. Very sudden and without warning. That was a very dark black hole for me to climb out of which took many years. I understand your void that occasionally comes from nowhere, but now I have skills to recognize and acknowledge them and appreciate the few six months we had. I like your story very much as it shows how to find beauty in life after tragedy.
This writing is a gift to those in the dark hole of grief. You are a special man and I am so glad you and Ginni found each other. I too am learning similar lessons from the loss of my parents and especially the loss of my husband to Alzheimer’s disease. I enjoy each day more knowing that time is a gift. I feel the suffering of those in pain which allows me to give comfort and support more completely. Thank you for writing and sharing your story.
As usual, you write with such depth and softness while hitting a tough subject hard.
Thank you.
Bob, thank you for sharing the story of Brandon’s gifts. His loss must have been devastating. Yet you carried on, courageously growing into the man you are now. Thank you for not letting sorrow snuff out your light. You’ve given a gift to all who know you.
Bob, I am so sorry that Brandon is not here physically. I felt the emotions as if he were right here. Your ability to draw us in and make Brandon real and alive to all of us helps in countless ways. For me it is a gentle reminder to not look at the past but to look forward. The past resides within us and we do not have to cling to the sadness.
I have not experienced loss in the same way you did, yours is a deep and unrelenting loss that no parent should ever have. You kept Brandon’s joy and heart alive in the house that so many families have used since. Bringing purpose to pain is the way forward.
Thank you for this heartfelt and beautifully written piece. Please write more. Maybe even start your own Substack. You write very well!
Just wow... such a powerful story from Bob... thank you for sharing it here. Thank you for encouraging him to write it! I love how he remembers sweet Brandon with the gifts he gave his young father... and those gifts have stuck a lifetime making Bob an even better dad. He was absolutely right about fathers expected to be strong, stoic... we sure needed this perspective. Well done, Bob... you’re an awesome writer just like Ginni! 🫶💙💜🫶
I will write more when I can stop crying.