I don’t recall why he did it. I do recall being on the floor, crumpled like a rag doll. No warning, just a punch so hard that it knocked me down. I would have run the moment he told me I needed to sleep with my bra on if I’d known anything about how controlling boyfriends or husbands escalate their behavior into violence. I complied. His demand was connected to my living with a male, even though the male was my older half-brother. I thought it showed how much he cared. I was 15 and falling in love for the first time. I would do anything to please him.
Ginni, this is an important article for all women. Unfortunately, when one is in the middle of an abusive relationship, it is difficult to accept that something like this could be true for you. It’s easy to see that other women shouldn’t be hit. It’s harder to own that truth for yourself. When you’ve been brainwashed to believe that you are stupid, worthless, trashy, then you don’t think you deserve to be safe, happy or whole.
Thank you for sharing yourself authentically and vulnerably.
Phenomenal piece GInni. Especially in explaining the compassion some of us feel while abused because we can understand the psychological wounds of someone else ... but true to your revelation - it's never okay to be hit, period.
Ginni, once again you have touched on a subject that continues to be an important topic. I am glad it wasn’t a repeated occurrence in your life and that you knew in a moment that you would not allow that abuse again.
I’d like to share a story about my granddaughter who will be 12 in May. Twelve going on Twenty in some respects. Last year, she was invited by a friend from school to spend a day at a rural property the parents had bought. I later found out that the whole class (8 kids) and parents were invited along with a couple of others. One of the other kids had punched my granddaughter’s friend in the center of her chest a few weeks before. My granddaughter wasn’t comfortable knowing that kid would be present. Being the straightforward girl that she is, when she saw this kid, she walked up to him and asked if he planned to hit her too, like he had done to her friend. In a flash, he punched her twice in the face!
She was shocked, it hurt though nothing was broken or bleeding. The kid was unaware that this girl he had just punched had been in martial arts classes for 6 years. I wish I could have witnessed the look of combined anger and determination that I'm certain crossed her face just before she punched him back, one time…and sent him wailing to find his mother to tattle on that mean girl.
She told me about this the following day while I was driving her home from school, she said was worried that her parents might be mad about her hitting someone. I told her I was definitely Not mad. I was proud that she stood up for herself since no parents were around to stop it. I also said I was pretty sure the boy would never bother her again, and just maybe he wouldn’t hurt other girls either.
As always, beautifully, and thoughtfully written!
Such an important message! Thank you
Ginni, this is an important article for all women. Unfortunately, when one is in the middle of an abusive relationship, it is difficult to accept that something like this could be true for you. It’s easy to see that other women shouldn’t be hit. It’s harder to own that truth for yourself. When you’ve been brainwashed to believe that you are stupid, worthless, trashy, then you don’t think you deserve to be safe, happy or whole.
Thank you for sharing yourself authentically and vulnerably.
Thank you for sharing! It’s never ok to hit anyone or be hit by someone you know. Kindness rules!
I sure like reading your posts so much that I have subscribed. I like being your friend.
Phenomenal piece GInni. Especially in explaining the compassion some of us feel while abused because we can understand the psychological wounds of someone else ... but true to your revelation - it's never okay to be hit, period.
Ginni, once again you have touched on a subject that continues to be an important topic. I am glad it wasn’t a repeated occurrence in your life and that you knew in a moment that you would not allow that abuse again.
I’d like to share a story about my granddaughter who will be 12 in May. Twelve going on Twenty in some respects. Last year, she was invited by a friend from school to spend a day at a rural property the parents had bought. I later found out that the whole class (8 kids) and parents were invited along with a couple of others. One of the other kids had punched my granddaughter’s friend in the center of her chest a few weeks before. My granddaughter wasn’t comfortable knowing that kid would be present. Being the straightforward girl that she is, when she saw this kid, she walked up to him and asked if he planned to hit her too, like he had done to her friend. In a flash, he punched her twice in the face!
She was shocked, it hurt though nothing was broken or bleeding. The kid was unaware that this girl he had just punched had been in martial arts classes for 6 years. I wish I could have witnessed the look of combined anger and determination that I'm certain crossed her face just before she punched him back, one time…and sent him wailing to find his mother to tattle on that mean girl.
She told me about this the following day while I was driving her home from school, she said was worried that her parents might be mad about her hitting someone. I told her I was definitely Not mad. I was proud that she stood up for herself since no parents were around to stop it. I also said I was pretty sure the boy would never bother her again, and just maybe he wouldn’t hurt other girls either.