Love this piece, Ginni as it really hits home for me. It makes me think of all the positive ways in which we, as caring people, can influence our friends, family, and others! Love the reference to The Who.
That was incredible and even more such wise words I needed to hear this morning. You are so honest in your writing like your book, which I am enjoying so much. You pulled me in right away.
Thanks for sharing so much of yourself. You wrote something along the lines of a piece I've been drafting that may or may not see the light of day: I see that mindset influences reality and I am saddened that my parents couldn’t crawl out from under the childhood messages that bound them to that sense of lack."
Congratulations for making better choices for yourself and your son than they were able to do.
wow, what a great way of looking at it. My mom stopped then didn't and harmed so then I spoke in a different way. It sure is true that you need to mirror people even if they aren't listening you have to do it, sometimes for yourself
This is a very unique viewpoint ... when I was dealing with my own issues with drinking, (a lifelong family trait and legacy) it was daughter's pointing it out to me that made me stop as well. Otherwise, I would have been carrying on per normal. My heart also goes out to you for certain things you shared in this piece, like calling your mom at certain times before her nightly drink. My aunt used to tell me she had a rule never to call my mother past 7 p.m. and I told her I had my own rule, never to visit my mother at night, to keep visits to coffee in the mornings. Unfortunately, my seeing my own mother never made her stop drinking, nor did my endless talking to her of my concerns. Really poignant post Ginni.
Ginni Dear, lovely writing! It occurred to me that during your "getting seen" experience with your mom YOU brought that potential into form with YOUR Act of Power!! Risky? YES Worth it? YES
This is wonderful, Ginni! I'm sorry your relationship with your mom came to that point, but it's so brave of you to speak those words to her. I hope it made a difference!
"See me, feel me, touch me, heal me......" Ginni, thanks to you I was just transported back in time to the years I loved the most (1969-70) when our music was at its peak! The WHO were one of the greatest rock bands ever, and I just listened to all 47 minutes and it took me back to those glorious times, troubled as they were, but how we STOOD UP to the people giving us trouble!!
I read the other daily Substack readers as I listened--the perfect background music while reading about our totally out-of-whack supreme court, and the antics of Alito and Thomas. And how the NYT and other used-to-be-credible publications don't say a word about the stupid, INSANE things trump said in the desert this week, but will trash Biden who is more of a man than trump could ever be!
You had some hard times in your life, Ginni. And so did a lot of folks, you are not alone!
See me.....Feel me......Touch me.....Heal me! You have the power to heal yourself, my dear!
Ginni, once again, a message that hits home and inspires reflection. Thanks for allowing us to peek inside the workings of your memories. It was amazing to read that your mom was able to actually think about what you said and value your presence in her life.
Whenever my own mother said the words "I’ll think about it" it was a euphemism for NO…as it related to a suggestion (purchase, excursion or other expressed desire from me) that might be outside her rigid budget. To this day, it is unfathomable to me that she couldn’t "find" $5. for the fourth edition of my high school annual! Instead, she justified her refusal by opening her accounting of expenses to show me there was more going out than coming in and blamed it on my father, her usual scapegoat for her disappointment in the circumstance of ongoing poverty consciousness. As an adult today, I see that mindset influences reality and I am saddened that my parents couldn’t crawl out from under the childhood messages that bound them to that sense of lack. We all worked. Still, getting ahead was often a distant reality.
Now I contrast my experiences in early childhood with the abundance of my granddaughter's life and am grateful to have been the catalyst that broke the pattern. My son told me recently it was only in the past few years that he realized we weren’t wealthy when he was growing up! I actually refer to that time as sweating bullets monthly after his father died, because it was a continual juggling act. But he didn’t know because I didn’t make it his problem and lived "as if" things were not scary. He is successful today in part because he wasn’t tainted by my nuclear family attitudes about money and value of humanity.
Ginni,
With your gentle, determined technique, you skillfully remind each of us of our secret desire to be seen.
Well done.
Thank you.
This is really great!! It never is too late even if not positive feedback.
Great job and thanks for sharing.
Leslie
I love your writings! I remember the times my sons when very young would say “Dad look at me”. Thank you Ginni! ❤️
I’m so glad. Thank you!😍😍
Love this piece, Ginni as it really hits home for me. It makes me think of all the positive ways in which we, as caring people, can influence our friends, family, and others! Love the reference to The Who.
Thank you!
Shelley Wagner
Thanks, Shelley. I’m happy it got you thinking.
Ginni
That was incredible and even more such wise words I needed to hear this morning. You are so honest in your writing like your book, which I am enjoying so much. You pulled me in right away.
Jeanne
Thank you! I’m delighted my words were what you needed to hear. And thanks for reading The Space Between.
Thanks for sharing so much of yourself. You wrote something along the lines of a piece I've been drafting that may or may not see the light of day: I see that mindset influences reality and I am saddened that my parents couldn’t crawl out from under the childhood messages that bound them to that sense of lack."
Congratulations for making better choices for yourself and your son than they were able to do.
wow, what a great way of looking at it. My mom stopped then didn't and harmed so then I spoke in a different way. It sure is true that you need to mirror people even if they aren't listening you have to do it, sometimes for yourself
This is a very unique viewpoint ... when I was dealing with my own issues with drinking, (a lifelong family trait and legacy) it was daughter's pointing it out to me that made me stop as well. Otherwise, I would have been carrying on per normal. My heart also goes out to you for certain things you shared in this piece, like calling your mom at certain times before her nightly drink. My aunt used to tell me she had a rule never to call my mother past 7 p.m. and I told her I had my own rule, never to visit my mother at night, to keep visits to coffee in the mornings. Unfortunately, my seeing my own mother never made her stop drinking, nor did my endless talking to her of my concerns. Really poignant post Ginni.
Thank you for sharing your story. Interesting how your daughter played a similar role as I did with my mom. There are so many layers to your story.❤️
Ginni Dear, lovely writing! It occurred to me that during your "getting seen" experience with your mom YOU brought that potential into form with YOUR Act of Power!! Risky? YES Worth it? YES
Nice Job!!
Thank you! As usual, you always make me feel seen.
So sorry that you had to endure this as a child. It was good of your mother to see your pain and to alleviate it by stopping what was causing it.
Thanks, Ken.
Thanks, Ken. I was actually an adult when this occurred.
This is wonderful, Ginni! I'm sorry your relationship with your mom came to that point, but it's so brave of you to speak those words to her. I hope it made a difference!
Thanks, Cherie. My mother and I were very close. Despite any issues, she was a remarkably smart and insightful woman. We loved each other very much.
That is really good to hear, Ginni!
"See me, feel me, touch me, heal me......" Ginni, thanks to you I was just transported back in time to the years I loved the most (1969-70) when our music was at its peak! The WHO were one of the greatest rock bands ever, and I just listened to all 47 minutes and it took me back to those glorious times, troubled as they were, but how we STOOD UP to the people giving us trouble!!
I read the other daily Substack readers as I listened--the perfect background music while reading about our totally out-of-whack supreme court, and the antics of Alito and Thomas. And how the NYT and other used-to-be-credible publications don't say a word about the stupid, INSANE things trump said in the desert this week, but will trash Biden who is more of a man than trump could ever be!
You had some hard times in your life, Ginni. And so did a lot of folks, you are not alone!
See me.....Feel me......Touch me.....Heal me! You have the power to heal yourself, my dear!
Thank you, Catherine. I loved The Who and Tommy.
I’ve had a life . I don’t think of it as hard or harder than anyone else’s. Everyone has challenges and that’s how we learn.
Ginni, once again, a message that hits home and inspires reflection. Thanks for allowing us to peek inside the workings of your memories. It was amazing to read that your mom was able to actually think about what you said and value your presence in her life.
Whenever my own mother said the words "I’ll think about it" it was a euphemism for NO…as it related to a suggestion (purchase, excursion or other expressed desire from me) that might be outside her rigid budget. To this day, it is unfathomable to me that she couldn’t "find" $5. for the fourth edition of my high school annual! Instead, she justified her refusal by opening her accounting of expenses to show me there was more going out than coming in and blamed it on my father, her usual scapegoat for her disappointment in the circumstance of ongoing poverty consciousness. As an adult today, I see that mindset influences reality and I am saddened that my parents couldn’t crawl out from under the childhood messages that bound them to that sense of lack. We all worked. Still, getting ahead was often a distant reality.
Now I contrast my experiences in early childhood with the abundance of my granddaughter's life and am grateful to have been the catalyst that broke the pattern. My son told me recently it was only in the past few years that he realized we weren’t wealthy when he was growing up! I actually refer to that time as sweating bullets monthly after his father died, because it was a continual juggling act. But he didn’t know because I didn’t make it his problem and lived "as if" things were not scary. He is successful today in part because he wasn’t tainted by my nuclear family attitudes about money and value of humanity.